My title says it all. When you don’t agree, pause. Often times when we don’t agree with someone it may cause us to get upset or ignore what they feel. Instead the next time you find that you do not agree with someone that a moment to just pause. Allow yourself the time and opportunity to just soak in what they have said to you. After you have heard and absorbed their point of view then speak your peace. Speak it peacefully by all means.
Side note…one of the things I learned in my marriage is that I can be very stubborn. I mean heck I’m born in May (mic drop, lol). I had to work really hard on learning to listen to Santos. It took me several years before I mastered this technique. I wont lie, even to date there are times when I must question myself and ask, “Ari, are you being fare? Are you listening to what he has to say or just blowing him off because you do not agree with him.” Tonight we had a very good conversation where I didn’t agree with what he wanted but I understood where he was coming from. I on the other hand had my mind made up and was determined to do what I wanted to do. However, as his wife I must be mindful of how I present my decisions to him. I never want to come off as being disrespectful or as if I don’t take an interest in his concerns or desires. If you ever want to hurt a man cut him off, ignore him, that will ruin their pride and as a wife that should never be your goal. Therefore, pause. As for husbands if you never want to make your wife feel unloved, like you never listen or value her opinion and don’t care about her feelings…don’t brush her off. So remember the next time you don’t agree with someone just pause. That doesn’t mean in the end you will agree and it doesn’t mean that you wont. What it does mean is that you have taken out time to respectfully listen to what each other has had to say. You love each other that much to do so.
Love and blessings,
~ Ari F.